Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘marry’

Happy Marc Rudov Day!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2011

What’s up fuckers, I found this over at ScareCrow’s site. An awesome vid about feminism.  Well worth the time to check out and while you’re at it check out Marc’s site.  I’ve been listening to the radio archive section where you can hear some recent interviews about NO-mance Day, or as it should be called……Marc Rudov Day!

As ScareCrow would say…”SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT!”

The Story of Feminism–as told by WOMEN from maxtll on Vimeo.

Posted in money, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Too Good to be True???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 2, 2010

This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Sometimes you have to take these bitches with a grain of salt.  Yes even my sarcastic ass knows that not ALL American women are fucked up, just 99.99999% of them are.  So there is a chance that I might meet one that is cool, just like there’s a chance I might win Power Ball, catch a unicorn or shit a golden turd.

So what happens when you meet that one that’s fan-fucking-tastic!!!  I mean she’s great, cool to hang with, likes your friends, and of course sucks the fucking color off your dick!  To quote the great philosopher Kenny Loggins, this is when you are in “The Danger Zone”.  This is when you can get easily distracted by her firm ass and excellent oral communication skills.

Don’t let your guard down gentlemen!  Take a step back and evaluate the situation as if you were giving advice to one of your drinking buds.   It will give you a much better picture of what you really have on your hands.  Recently, I’ve found myself in this same exact situation and when I did step back and mulled things over with my good friend Johnnie Walker here are some of the red flags that I found whipping in the wind.

Multiple kids, multiple fathers. (who don’t pay child support)
Previous “serious” relationship was abusive.
Complains about not finding any “good” men.
Radical spike in interest after learning of career path
Lots of male friends, very few female friends.
No goals, career or otherwise.  (waiting on Prince Charming)

    The list goes on, but you get the picture.  It’s easy to ignore the warning signs when someone is swallowing your load; especially when they do their best to hide them. Until next time fuckers.

    You’re now free to drink scotch on the rocks.

    Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

    Hey Old Fucker!!!!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2010

    This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!!

    Does any of this female psycho-babble sound familiar?

    You’re just bitter!

    Someone must have really hurt you.

    You just hate women!

    Not all women are like that……I’m not.

    You just haven’t met the right woman yet.

    Of course when that doesn’t work then they try this…………..

    Don’t you want to grow old with someone?  (what they forget is to add is that someone will be bugging and nagging the living hell out of you until one of you dies!!!!)

    I feel sad for you.

    You’ll never know true love with that attitude.

    Older guys didn’t just pull their attitudes out of a fucking straw hat.  They came from years of life experiences.  We need to listen to our elders, I know that’s crazy-talk nowadays, but trust me.  These guys aren’t saying to stay away from marriage because “they can’t get laid”.  They’re saying it because its true.

    The “See the matrix” analogy is probably grossly overused, but in this case it fits perfectly.  As we mature we start noticing patterns of behavior.  We notice that these patterns seem to match what some of these “old farts” have been trying to warn us about for years.  Pretty much every guy knows of another guy who has been raked over the coals by the court system.

    Then through the power of hindsight, you start looking back at all your relationships and you can usually pinpoint the moment the first red flag went up.  But you stayed.

    You’re now free to walk 10 miles uphill in the snow.

    Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

    Indifference………Bitches hate it!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 10, 2009

    This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

    A few posts back I talked about how I was called a woman hater because I did not want to risk getting fucked again by remarrying.  A reader, Curiepoint, left these very truthful comments:

    “The shaming language is a call to get you to embrace “normalcy”. That is to say, that the normal and
    predictable thing for a man to do is to assume the yoke of an oppressive marriage, ungrateful children, and
    mounting debt. To refuse all this is to buck the system, and we can’t have any of that.
    I have ask rhetorically though, what is the difference between love and hate? Both have caused pain,
    death, and misery in roughly equal proportions. Both carry a heavier price than is ever worth paying, and
    neither deliver on any of the promises that they make. Why bother with either one?
    The thing for these accusatory voices to realize, is that we do not hate women. That would assume that
    they can trigger an emotional response in us. The real issue is our indifference to them, which is
    diametrically opposed to both love and hate.

    The shaming language is a call to get you to embrace “normalcy”.  That is to say, that the normal and predictable thing for a man to do is to assume the yoke of an oppressive marriage, ungrateful children, andmounting debt. To refuse all this is to buck the system, and we can’t have any of that.I have ask rhetorically though, what is the difference between love and hate? Both have caused pain,death, and misery in roughly equal proportions.  Both carry a heavier price than is ever worth paying, andneither deliver on any of the promises that they make. Why bother with either one?  The thing for these accusatory voices to realize, is that we do not hate women. That would assume thatthey can trigger an emotional response in us. The real issue is our indifference to them, which isdiametrically opposed to both love and hate.”

    It was his last sentence that stuck with me.  I have referred to a certain rebound piece of ass before in this blog and after the sex ended with this bitch, her complaint, the thing that drove her completely fucking wild was my indifference toward her.  She tried all her usual drama queen tactics on me, but to no effect.  This drove her insane, she even told me so!  She said that at least if I hate her that she can understand that.

    Typical American bitch, everything revolves around her, the fact that I wasn’t feeding this cunt’s drama machine totally pissed her off even more.

    I think it was more than indifference.  This chick was last single in her 20’s, now she’s pushing 40 so her stock has crashed long ago and I think that she just can’t deal with that.  I think that these entitlement whores cannot imagine the day when stomping their little feet no longer works and guys just don’t give a fuck because there’s something younger, hotter and with a better attitude right around the corner.

    Silly cum bucket, tricks are for kids.  I am indifferent because I have choices……and you don’t.  Enjoy the rest of your miserable life you overweight loud-mouthed bitch!

    You are now free to drink malt liquor about the cabin.

    Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

    Bitches Gone Wild!!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 5, 2009

    This is your Captain speaking……… welcome aboard fuckers.

    Ever notice that whenever a woman does something wrong that there is always an excuse?  How many times have you heard phrases like “It’s not my fault, I’m just really sensitive right now..”, or “I’m hormonal”, the list goes on and on.  They always have some excuse for their bad behavior, for acting like a child or just plain being a cunt.


    One of their favorite tools is “Backward Rationalizing”, where she does something then rationalizes it after the fact.   Have you ever had sex with a broad and afterwards she blames alcohol, or her emotional state (horny?), or one of women’s favorites is the man “tricked” them.

    Wait……tricked them?  How is that possible ladies?

    What happened to being so smart, independent, intelligent and all that other crap you talk nonstop about?   What about that women’s intuition that you love to go on and on about, isn’t that “never” wrong?  And aren’t all men just stupid dogs lead around by our cocks?  How could we possible fool oh so high woman?

    Here’s the other part that’s complete bullshit.  Men are just suppose to accept a woman’s bad and/or childish behavior and not say or do anything about it.  We’re just suppose to accept their snide remarks and redundant  questions.

    Fuck that!  Women are like urinals…….no wait, most urinals are probably a lot cleaner and have had a lot less visitors.     Ok, women are like a port-a-potty.   You should  just hold your breath, use them and get the fuck out!


    You are now free to fuck about the cabin……..

    Posted in sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

    10 Reasons a Guitar is BETTER than a Woman

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 26, 2009

    This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard Fuckers!

    I’ve decided to do a list of reasons why a man is better off buying a guitar than a woman, especially a wife.


    This list is in no particular fucking order and it may end up being less or more than 10, fucking sue me.  This list is sponsored tonight by Steel Reserve, 8.1% alcohol by fucking volume!

    fender girl

    1. I still get aroused when I hold one of my guitars.
    2. My guitars don’t get all pissed off if I come home with another guitar.
    3. A guitar will still look just as good 2,4,5 or 10 years later.
    4. A guitar actually sounds good when it screams or cries.
    5. A guitar has a volume knob.
    6. All my guitars still weigh the same as when I first saw them.
    7. I was able to finger all my guitars BEFORE I took my wallet out.
    8. I still look forward to seeing my guitars.
    9. The pleasure you get from a guitar actually increases if you spend more time with it.
    10. A guitar doesn’t bitch or nit-pick you to fucking death.
    11. Your guitar doesn’t give a fuck how many beers you drink.
    12. A guitar understands that a 20yr old step-daughter is really not considered “family” and therefore ok to shag.
    13. A guitar is worth MORE the older it gets.
    14. I just wanted to repeat the last one, the value of a guitar actually goes UP as it ages, much like a man, but completely opposite of a woman.

    You are now free to jam about the cabin…


    Posted in Marriage, money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

    Is She a Regular, or just in-between suckers?

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 21, 2009

    This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…….

    As a long standing member of Gold’s gym, I have seen countless people start and eventually stop their workout habits.  I have become pretty accurate over the years of predicting how long someone will hang in there.

    One interesting occurrence is how you will see certain women join the gym, you can tell that they have been neglecting trying to keep themselves up for a while.  But to their credit, they will work their fat asses off to the point where they are looking pretty bang-able.

    Then they suddenly disappear.  They just stop going.  Their workout partner isn’t sure what happen, they’re just a no-show.  So one day, usually several months even a year or so later you see this overweight female who looks kinda familiar………….”but it can’t be the chick I’m thinking of” , you say to yourself.  But sure enough, it’s her.


    She worked out long enough to reel in the next sucker, then her lazy ass quit working out.  Typical bait and switch, dog-n-pony show that American women are famous for.  You think you are getting a woman who takes pride in her appearance, then WHAM, the lazy cunt reveals her true lazy colors.

    Of course, the reason is that she’s “comfortable” and you should like her for more than her body, even though it was the body that got your attention in the first place.

    This is just like women who lose weight for their wedding day and then pork back up once the guy is locked into the marriage contract.  Then they wonder why the guy cheats.  Of course he’ll cheat, he feels duped and he was duped!!  He thought he was getting one thing but wound up with something completely different and fatter.

    So if you see a chick in the gym or meet a women on the street or where ever, how can you tell is she really works out or is she is just between suckers and is only faking it until someone takes the bait?

    One good way is to look at her shoulders and arms.  For women, these areas take a while to get nice tone, plus it requires attention to diet too.  Now I’m not saying she has to have arms like Arnold, but toned.  The fact that it takes a while to attain this toned look means that she is not one of those people who work out when things are “right”.  If she has a toned upper body then she’s been working out through thick and thin and not just when its convenient or when the planets are aligned.


    Don’t be fooled by a nice body with no tone, unless you are in it for the short term, then it doesn’t matter, you can just tap the ass while she looks hot and kick her man-cow looking ass to the curb when she starts packing on the pounds.

    You should never depend on one woman for your sexual needs, that’s one of many reasons why marriage is such a bad deal for men.

    Strike while the ass is hot fellas, hump em’ and dump em’!

    You’re now free to move about the gym….

    Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

    Who lies more? Men or Women?

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 19, 2009

    This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers……….

    Ok, so some of you might recognize the title of this post as a pickup line or opener used to chat up women.  But I’m actually asking the question.  When it comes to dating and relationships it’s obvious that women are the lie.  It was Albert Einstein who said “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not…”

    Women put up the classic dog and pony show when you first meet them.  Then once they have you locked down either by marriage or by squeezing out a baby, that’s when they change.  Well not change, more like go back to their real slobby selves.

    How often have you heard women talk about losing weight for their wedding?  And that’s exactly what they do, they lose the weight for that ONE day, then they pork up like the pigs they really are.  Plus, why aren’t they losing weight for the so-called love of their life?  Don’t they love the guy enough to lose the fat for more than one day.  Of course most American women are just way to fucking lazy to do that, it’s much easier for the fat pig to point to her wedding picture and say “see what I USED to look like”.


    For the guy the wedding picture is a reminder of how he fell for the classic bait and switch routine.  Hopefully some of these guys will use those pictures as reminders of who really does lie more!  That poor smuck actually thought he was getting the girl in the wedding pictures!!  Instead he got a fatter and more hostile version of the woman that he first met.  That’s why guys cheat, not to get something new, but to get something like they thought they had in the first place!


    There is no benefit for a man to get married, unless he’s a complete loser.

    You’re now free to drink about the cabin…..

    Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

    Are you Married to a SNIPER???

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 15, 2009

    This is your Captain speaking……..

    What’s up fuckers!  How many of you guys watch fights, either boxing or mma?  Ever notice how the guys throw tons of jabs and cut kicks.  Those punches and kicks never knock anyone out, but the damage from them adds up over the course of the fight.  You can’t really say it was one particular jab or kick that really made the guy hurt.

    So anyone here married to a fucking sniper?


    Women fight in the same manner.  Often when they say “Well what have I done…”, you can’t pinpoint one incident, but you KNOW you’ve had the hell beaten out of you.

    Like today, I’m home pretty much the same time every day and I unwind a minute before I go to the gym, the same gym I’ve been going to for YEARS.  Well the gas company was going to replace our regulator outside and needed someone to be here.  Well wifey decides to play the hero (the bitch just wanted to leave work early) because she said that “I’m not reliable”.

    That’s what makes marriage so fucking evil.  Little shit like that the builds up, the constant fucking slick ass remarks when you’re out in public, all that shit adds up.  You can’t remember individual stuff, but just like the fight, it takes its toll.

    Let’s dump these passive agressive bitches and use women what they were put here for……SEX.  No, not fucking babies, just sex.  Let some other sucker knock the bitch up, we just want the pussy.

    You are now free to move about my ballsack.

    Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

    Don’t want to get married? Then you must be a woman-hater!!!

    Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2009

    Hello Fuckers, This is your Captain Speaking……..

    You know, it’s amazing.  You hear a lot about how we should learn from our mistakes.  Well, marriage has been the single most costly mistake I have ever made and I fucking refuse to do it again.  You would think that people would say that’s a wise choice.  After all, why repeat the biggest blunder of your life?

    Well that’s not how some women see it.  Although not all women, once again the split among the women is predictable.  My younger hotter friends agree with my outlook and say that I should enjoy my life, the old bags over 30 who are carrying around 50 extra pounds, whiny shrill voices, they all tell me how sad it is.

    Sad?  Sad that I’m smart enough to not repeat a mistake, which by the way, 2nd and 3rd marriages have even HIGHER divorce rates than first marriages!!  The truth is that these older bags are way past their sell by date and I am just entering my prime.  It seems like every day I have younger and hotter girls talking to me.  The old bags probably stomped their little feet when they were younger when they didn’t get their way and men fell for it…………until the looks slipped, the pounds added up, then the guys shifted their attention to younger, hotter and less bitchy women.

    These bitter old cunts tell me that just because I don’t want to sign another contract to give away half my assets, that I must “hate women”.  Well they must hate men.   After all, why else would they try so hard to sell something that many of them have already failed at.  Yeah, some of these bitches telling me not to give up on marriage are divorced themselves!  Fucking hippocrites!

    Fuck those overweight cunts.  I plan to get divorced and NEVER give up my happiness again.  NEVER have to worry about which personality I’ll come home to.  NEVER feel like I am 16 and still live at home.

    Fellas, I say let these fat, bitter old war pigs live at home with their fucking 7 cats.  I will have standards.  NO AVERAGE WOMEN!!!!  And damn sure never limit myself to just one or two women.  It will be time to live and enjoy life, like a man should.

    Fuck marriage and fuck used up old battle cunts.

    You are now free to bang porn stars about the cabin….

    Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

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