This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!
So grab your poison of choice and join me as we look at shit I see on my FaceFuckBook page. You probably see this fuckery on your social media as well. And here we go!!!!!
Some of my “friends” online are simply people I knew back in high school and wouldn’t finger fuck them if I ran into them at a brothel. Nor would I recognize them. However some of these fucks provide a ton of laughs. One of these fuck cunts is a younger sister of a buddy of mine, a chick who has never been married but has managed to shit out two government subsidized womb turds from two different guys.
You know someone like her, all the posts about her kids and how they are “her world”. Constantly patting herself on the back for what a great mom she is! Except…..something is missing. Oh yeah, the dads. Of course there are endless posts about how both dads are complete pieces of shit.
I’ll give her one thing, she’s right with everything she says about the dads. They are losers, they are pieces of shit. However……..it was obvious they were a POS the day she met them. These guys weren’t running some bait and switch operation.
Baby Daddy #1
Multiple convictions. Most law enforcement depts now have a jail search feature including the one where Supermom lives. A simple search the day she met him would have brought up multiple pages of mugshots and past charges. But…….we all know Supermom’s kryptonite is FACTS. So no interest there. Even though she later admitted they met the night after he got out of jail she must have known he was a keeper and hence no birth control.
Baby Daddy #2
Ok fuckers. There’s about 6 years between dad 1 and 2. So Supermom had been posting online about what a great mom she was and what a POS dad 1 was. Then enter bady daddy number two. Now after basically finding her first kid’s father off the show Cops, our hero Supermom has learned her lesson right? After all, Supermom worked in the medical field and was surrounded by doctors. Surely she found a decent guy now that she “knows better”, right????
WRONG!!!! Baby daddy #2 was/is a convicted sex offender. Let me rephrase that, he’s a pedophile!! Yes you read that right. Not just charged or accused, but look the fucker up on a watch site convicted pedophile. That’s the guy that Ms I Work In the Medical Field decided to let raw dog her. And the punchline is the kid diddler actually left her! She was wanting to get married!!!!!!!
But guys, that’s all in the past right? Now she’s Supermom and her kids come first. Now granted she wasn’t giving two shits about her future kids before they were born, I mean who does that? What kind of woman actually thinks about what kind of father and role model she wants for her kids????? Certainly not today’s modern empowered woman! Damn sure not Supermom!
Today Supermom is closing in on 40 but I wouldn’t be surprised if she squeezed out a retard before her last egg completely turns to dust. Her first kid is borderline special needs and she had it when she was younger, so I’m sure those eggs have a lot more cracks in them now.
But hey, listen to her now and she is ALL about her kids!! She’ll let you know that her kids and her are a package deal buddy!!!!! A rotting, leaking, smoldering shitfire of a package…….but a package. Give her a minute of your time and she’ll gladly bend your ear about how bad her exes are (that she picked) and what a saint she is.
After all, when you need to raise the next generation of prison inmates who do you call?????
This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!
It’s back to school time again folks, or as welfare moms call it…..Vacation.
It’s also back to all the little ladies at the office wanting the company they work for to bend and twist around so that their job doesn’t interfere with them having it all and being a mother to their womb turds and future government dependents.
I mean what bullshit it would be if the poor fragile women had to work a regular schedule like men do!!! That would be awful if women were expected to actually contribute to the bottom line! How sexist!!!
So the little misses come in late and leave early and then come appraisal time they expect the same raise or even more as everyone else who actually fucking showed up for work.
Newsflash girls, you can’t have it all. Just like men you have to decide if you want to play house or have a career, you can’t do both. If you choose to shit out kids then don’t bitch when you are passed up at work by people who are better at their job in part because they have actually put some time in on the damn fuck job.
The glass ceiling is a goddamn lie, it’s not some fabled ceiling that holds women back, it’s the fucking holes they dig themselves into. Getting worthless degrees in college and running up a shitfuckton of debt. Having kids with convicts and other losers who can’t even support themselves. Having kids with guys who just want to fuck and have zero interest in parenting. Trying to trap a guy by “forgetting” your birth control. All this is shit you guys control. There isn’t some group of guys wringing their hands worrying about some broad wanting to get into the boardroom.
Do you wage gap morons even have a fucking clue how hard it is to find people qualified to sit in the boardroom!!! Of course you don’t, it’s much easier to sit and bitch about other’s success than it is to roll up your sleeves and make your own success happen. Show me a person who hates rich business people and I’ll show you a lazy fuck.
You think it’s luck that makes you wealthy? No dumbtits, it’s work, it’s doing shit 99% of people won’t fucking damn do. You bitch about a glass ceiling yet you don’t even work hard enough to merit getting out of the fucking basement!
Women are the reason there aren’t more women at the top. Women are their own worst enemies.
This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!
What’s up fuckers! I just wanted to rant about something I’ve been seeing a lot of lately. We all know that as men, we can’t turn a fucking corner without being told to do something and if we don’t do it we’re not “real” men.
One thing in particular really pisses me off because it’s one of the best ways to completely ass fuck your life. Taking on another man’s child or in a lot of cases children!!!!
Guys stop jumping on the fucking grenade. Stop being the goddamn martyr!!! We need to lose this idea of sacrificing for no reason is somehow noble. It’s not noble, it’s fucking retarded, in fact it’s full retard!!!!!
Newsflash Poindexter, you weren’t her first choice, or even her 100th choice, you’re just all she’s left with now that her body and vag has been wrecked by having kids. Kids that even their own father don’t want shit to do with, so why the fuck should you?
Do you realize how many guys “step up” only to get stepped on by the very children they helped raise once they become adults and decide they want to have a relationship with their “real” father? Thanks for paying the bills sucker!
I worked with a guy who met a chick who looked ok, she was one of these chicks who was cool and looked decent but she was literally one cupcake away from the plus-size area of the store. Which spoiler alert……she’s way past plus sized now. He got with this chick when she was still fucking around with her ex and “happened” to get pregnant. Obviously in hopes of trapping the ex but he said fuck you and left her pregnant bloated ass.
Well my buddy, Mr Knight in White Pussy Satin, decided to “step up” and be a so called real man. What has he gotten in return? Well she has gained ton of weight and looks like warmed over shit, something she didn’t do when she was with the bad boy who left her while she was knocked up. He gets to pay ALL, yes all, the bills for this bastard womb turd because she won’t go after the ex for child support. Basically my friend bought a used up Jag off a buy-here pay-here lot and the thing is rapidly falling apart and will NEVER look or run as good as it used to.
Fellas, stop being the nice guy. Be the dick. Trust me, it works a hell of a lot better. Your wallet and your dick will thank you.
You’re now free to jizz on the Super Bowl Halftime Show.
“Never say never”, a phrase I hear often in connection with the prospect of remarrying. I wonder…..exactly how many times do you have get screwed by something to realize that it’s not working. Although I can see why women have this attitude, they have nothing to lose from marriage, they get to leave at the very worst, the same they came into the marriage. Now how many guys can say that?
But to be fair, not everyone was telling me to “never say never”. Of course the men understand, or at least the ones who are good with women understand, the manginas and pussy-beggars (to borrow a phrase from Thugtician), those guys view marriage as their only chance to get laid, as if marriage was ever good for that.
However my female friends and coworkers are actually split on this often touted advice on remarriage. When I looked at who said what, it broke down nicely into two distinct groups. The hotter and younger women agreed, which makes sense because they are in their prime also and for now, have no shortage of men at their disposal, so no surprise that they are not worried about things. The other group, the group that clings to marriage even though several of them are failures in marriage (divorced), they have at least one or more of the following attributes. Over 30, overweight, average or below average looks, uneducated, and/or no career (needs a provider).
So basically the only ones who believe in marriage are the men and women who have no other options. Some things you can say “never” to. Show me a person who doesn’t ever say “never” and I will show you a person who is not a leader. I’ll show you someone who cannot make their own decisions. I’ll show you a loser.
Capt. No-Marriage
The Political Pirate
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