Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘music’

10 Reasons a Guitar is BETTER than a Woman

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 26, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard Fuckers!

I’ve decided to do a list of reasons why a man is better off buying a guitar than a woman, especially a wife.

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This list is in no particular fucking order and it may end up being less or more than 10, fucking sue me.  This list is sponsored tonight by Steel Reserve, 8.1% alcohol by fucking volume!

fender girl

  1. I still get aroused when I hold one of my guitars.
  2. My guitars don’t get all pissed off if I come home with another guitar.
  3. A guitar will still look just as good 2,4,5 or 10 years later.
  4. A guitar actually sounds good when it screams or cries.
  5. A guitar has a volume knob.
  6. All my guitars still weigh the same as when I first saw them.
  7. I was able to finger all my guitars BEFORE I took my wallet out.
  8. I still look forward to seeing my guitars.
  9. The pleasure you get from a guitar actually increases if you spend more time with it.
  10. A guitar doesn’t bitch or nit-pick you to fucking death.
  11. Your guitar doesn’t give a fuck how many beers you drink.
  12. A guitar understands that a 20yr old step-daughter is really not considered “family” and therefore ok to shag.
  13. A guitar is worth MORE the older it gets.
  14. I just wanted to repeat the last one, the value of a guitar actually goes UP as it ages, much like a man, but completely opposite of a woman.

You are now free to jam about the cabin…

tiger


Posted in Marriage, money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

I can change him……and other retarded shit we do, Obama? Yo mama!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 26, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard.

Here’s an excerpt from a comment I recently made regarding this post

http://osolomama.wordpress.com/2009/05/18/sunday-times-room-for-debate-looks-at-single-momhood/

Hello again, I think you touch on a problem that a lot of women have when you talked about marriage magically transforming a guy. Too many women (and yes a lot of men) think that they can “change” or “save” someone. As if the other person is an old car that simply needs a new coat of paint and a tune-up.

And to what Zero said, he is right. If marriage was truly about love, then why does it require the stamp of approval from the government? Ceremonies are fine, but we are talking about a legal contract here. Look at Mel Gibson, I don’t recall his wife in any of his movies, and raising kids when you have nannies and millions in the bank isn’t exactly sacrificing for your children, but yet she’ll still get half.

Now what in the blue hell does being married and having kids have to do with growing up or settling down? Would I be more settled if I knocked the wife up a couple times and we had a mortgage payment or two? Is that settled? Is it mature to have to work until your 70 to support your kids when you could have retired at 50? That’s not mature, thats ignorant.

So in this blog, its comments, and the article that it refers to, we find the often spouted crap that men are animals until all knowing woman tames him, while she (the author of the blog) does not agree with that premise both her and most of the comments fall into the trap that if a guy isn’t married or have kids then he is somehow immature.  That taking on unnecessary debt and burdens is somehow “mature”.  The guy who worked hard and bought nice things is living a lie because nothing brings joy like having to work all your life for kids who will probably end up hating you.

Typical American woman bullshit.  They think that they have the magic vagina that can heal all wounds, well physician, heal thy self and try to do it without special programs just for women, money from guys you USED to fuck, or any other type of hand out.  Equal my ass!

You are now free to drink about the cabin.


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