Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘online dating’

Red Flags All Over My Screen

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 31, 2010


This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers.

Look what we have here.  princess tard Another fine contestant from the wonderful world of online dating.  A perfect example of what’s wrong with American women.  She looks good on the outside, but let’s look at her profile.  Starting with her headline.

“Big time fist bump to Match for allowing me a break from the bar scene.”

Nice huh.  By the way, she’s 31 and we all know that maintenance costs for a chick like this are worse than for an exotic sports car.  But perhaps I’m being too harsh let’s see her opening paragraph.

“So the word is out. I’m single and looking (but there seems to be a serious drought of decent men in Boston’s bar scene, and if I have to fend off another douchie guy out there, I might claw my eyes out). So, in the interest of saving my eyes (and my sanity), I am nervously turning to online dating in hopes of finding a nice, quality guy.”

Fuck, where do I begin with that?  I could get several posts just from that steaming pile she just laid.  Darling I realize that Boston is a really small town………….you stupid cum basket are you serious?  You can’t find a guy in a city the size of Boston?

Ladies if you can’t find a “decent” guy it’s because they’re avoiding you!  Conversely gentlemen if you hear a woman complain about the lack of good men around that’s your official notice that other intelligent men are avoiding this chick and you should do the same! 

But Princess Entitlement doesn’t stop there.  She goes on with her laundry list for Mr. Right.

“Someone who is genuine, honest, kind, great sense of humor (definitely an emphasis on this one), clever, active, interested in current events and can hold a conversation, enjoys trying new things and exploring new places, is confident (but not cocky), and is a gentleman whom even mom would approve of, for starters.”

Soooooooooooo……………………………..she want’s to date Jesus. 

“I guess this is my opportunity to go on and on about how amazing I am, but I think I’ll save that for our first date (and wow the pants off of you. Though not literally. I mean, it’s our first date).”

Oh ok, that cleared it up for me.  She wants an awesome guy to take her places but doesn’t want any pussy.  Good luck with that Princess.  You might as well start collecting cats now!

You’re now free jack off on a jack-o-lantern

Posted in relationship, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

 
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