Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘shit’

Game Over Cunt

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 22, 2015


beer and bitches

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!!

It’s been a fucking while, I’m drinking some Hurricane Malt Liquor so get ready for some fucked up grammar, misspellings, and all kinds of other editing fuck ups!

So a buddy of mine and I are sitting out back on my deck drinking some random IPAs and smoking cigars.  He starts to tell me about this worn out fucking cunt who has the hots for him.

She’s married, weighs in around 250 on a good day, two kids from some guy who couldn’t even keep a job at Home Fuck Depot, and just turned 30.  Her and my buddy went to high school together. She was the ugly chick who had the slamming body but like many women she thought she was hotter than she really was.

So now after 12 years of being with a loser and bulking up, she tells my friend that she’s going to leave the loser and she’s looking forward to “hanging out” with him. 

Luckily she doesn’t work with us, so no HR issues here.  She messaged him on FaceFuckBook.  Basically this chick has the attitude that all her fuck ups should be ignored by my friend.  That he should turn back the hands of time to when they were in school and her vag hadn’t been stretched out by child birth stretch marksand years of abuse.

The problem is this woman’s attitude is actually very common.  Women with multiple kids, often from multiple guys, want the rest of us to give her a do-over.  She wants us to pretend that when we look at her little womb turds that we don’t see the face of a guy who got to fuck her back when she was actually fuckable.  She wants us to pretend that she’s matured and that’s why she’s ready to settle down, not the truth which is she’s being carried off the field like Brett Farve. 

Luckily my friend and I both laugh at her dumb ass, but this chick honestly thinks that when she leaves the loser that she’ll be able to run out and get the man of her dreams. She thinks she’ll be hooking up with that doctor or lawyer she’s always wanted.

Fucking cunts today have this attitude that they can do what they want when they have the power (in their early 20s) and that when their looks fade then suddenly the rules should change and we should overlook all their fuckery.  We should be “real” men and take in them and their bastard fuck children.

Let me be clear ladies……GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

You’re now free to piss in a single mother’s face.

volleyball ass

Posted in women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

And They Wonder Why……

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 27, 2014


 

bullshit-glass-ceiling

 

This is your Captain speaking…….welcome aboard fuckers!!!

It’s back to school time again folks, or as welfare moms call it…..Vacation.

It’s also back to all the little ladies at the office wanting the company they work for to bend and twist around so that their job doesn’t interfere with them having it all and being a mother to their womb turds and future government dependents.

I mean what bullshit it would be if the poor fragile women had to work a regular schedule like men do!!!  That would be awful if women were expected to actually contribute to the bottom line! How sexist!!!

So the little misses come in late and leave early and then come appraisal time they expect the same raise or even more as everyone else who actually fucking showed up for work.

Newsflash girls, you can’t have it all.  Just like men you have to decide if you want to play house or have a career, you can’t do both.   If you choose to shit out kids then don’t bitch when you are passed up at work by people who are better at their job in part because they have actually put some time in on the damn fuck job.

The glass ceiling is a goddamn lie, it’s not some fabled ceiling that holds women back, it’s the fucking holes they dig themselves into.  Getting worthless degrees in college and running up a shitfuckton of debt.  Having kids with convicts and other losers who can’t even support themselves.  Having kids with guys who just want to fuck and have zero interest in parenting.  Trying to trap a guy by “forgetting” your birth control.  All this is shit you guys control.  There isn’t some group of guys wringing their hands worrying about some broad wanting to get into the boardroom. 

Do you wage gap morons even have a fucking clue how hard it is to find people qualified to sit in the boardroom!!!  Of course you don’t, it’s much easier to sit and bitch about other’s success than it is to roll up your sleeves and make your own success happen.  Show me a person who hates rich business people and I’ll show you a lazy fuck.

You think it’s luck that makes you wealthy? No dumbtits, it’s work, it’s doing shit 99% of people won’t fucking damn do.  You bitch about a glass ceiling yet you don’t even work hard enough to merit getting out of the fucking basement!

Women are the reason there aren’t more women at the top.  Women are their own worst enemies.

You’re now free to piss on the ceiling.

 

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Posted in marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

You Can’t Spice Up A Turd

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 14, 2014


real woman's ass

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Last time I got hammered I wrote down some advice for my three female readers.  Well here I am again with one more golden nugget for the girls.  I’m filling in the blanks for the broads out there, so listen up!

If you live long enough you’re bound to hear broad talking about her failing relationship and how she “worked” to make things better.  One often touted method of “working” on things doesn’t actually involve any work at all.  I’m talking about lingerie.  Women talk about how they dress sexy for their husband without any regard how they’ve let themselves go.

What you ladies need to understand is while men like a woman in lingerie, it needs to be said….since most of you are obviously slow…..we like HOT women in lingerie.  Check out the picture above, most me have some version of what we consider hot and that’s what we picture. 

So what happens when you squeeze your ass into something you just picked up off the clearance rack at Adam and Eve???  Well a couple things, first off it’s a stark reminder of how far you’ve let yourself go from the time we first met you.  So if you’re confused as to why your husband used to love you in something skimpy and now he vomits at the mere site of you, that’s why.  You just reminded him of how you ran the old bait-n-switch on him.  average woman

Here’s the other scenario that happens, you were never hot to begin with yet you are under some notion that your guy thinks you’re beautiful when the truth is your guy dropped out of high school and is a loser with few choices.  So you wear you’re little lace outfit but instead of looking like one of the hot chicks on Instagram you look like someone tried to strangle a giant squid with a garden hose.  Good job there Sally, you just basically rubbed your man’s nose in shit, as if he didn’t already know you’re ugly (hence the fact he has to be either high or drunk or both to fuck ya) now you just reminded him of that fact in bold, loud, living color.

So for those of you who want to actually work on your relationship, why not try doing the shit you did to trick him in to marrying you in the first place, like looking hot and blow jobs.

You’re now free to piss on a giant squid.

Posted in Captain No Marriage, marriage sucks, relationship, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

A Loser’s Favorite Time of Year

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 1, 2014


money grubbing bitch

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

Well fuck, it’s that time of year again isn’t it?  It’s that magical time when our wonderful government hands out millions of dollars in free money to those who neither earned it or deserve it.  Yep, it’s tax time bitches!!!

The single mothers sure love this time of year don’t they?  Then to top it off, I was listening to Tom Leykis the other day and he was talking about how the Terminator’s ex-wife did some piece about poor women.  After a brief Google search I found several “news” sites that were pimping this shit and passing it off as journalism.  One piece even had a picture of some 23yr old broad who was a single mother of two and worked as a waitress.  Poor Ms Waitress was struggling to pay her bills, isn’t that sad?  Of course the article said that the government (us) should bail bitches like this out.  Because it was clearly fate that made her poor and not her shitty decisions.

Well what the fuck, we do bail their dumbasses out, every fucking year!!!  You’ve overheard these bitches brag about the thousands of dollars they get back, far more than most of them paid in if they paid any in at all.  You’ll see these bitches living it up at, shopping at Target instead of Walmart, eating at fine dining establishments such as Red Lobster and Golden Corral.  If you work with any of these slackers you’ll notice absences sharply increase this time of year.

Then by May you’ll hear these same women talking about how broke they are or their piece of shit car broke down and they can’t afford to get it fixed.  We need to stop throwing money at stupid people.  They are poor because they want to be, they are poor because they never planned or worked to be anything else! These are the same fucks who will go to that tax service whose name rhymes with……cock…….and pay extra money to get a refund anticipation loan.  I mean what the hell, it’s not their money, they don’t give a shit if they have to pay out the ass interest charges, these bitches don’t even know what interest is!!!

We need to end this bullshit about kids being expensive, so are yachts but you don’t see the government helping me buy one of them!  I have to actually budget and work for shit I want, people who just want to shit out kids should have to do the same thing.

And don’t give me this kids are our future shit or that it’s the kids of today that will be my nurse or doctor when I’m old.  First off, the kids of today can’t even move out of the fucking house and live on their own.  You think these lazy fucks are going to stay in college long enough to become a fucking doctor?jail

A kid has better odds of wearing an orange jumpsuit at the local jail than he or she does of being president of a major company, a congressman or any of that other happy horseshit people like to spout off about when they’re talking about kids being our fucking future.  These future saviors can’t even carry on a conversation with another human face to face because they’ve spent their lives in their rooms jacking off to Justin Boober and One Erection.  So don’t tell me how your stupid fucking kids are the future of this country, at best your kids will have the same shitty as you do that is of course if you can ever get them out of the fucking house! 

You’re now free to spit on a poor person.

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Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Just saying…

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 10, 2013


curvy and fat

Posted in sex, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Reader Mail

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 9, 2013


Mail

What’s up fuckers!  Every once in a while I sober up just long enough to read a couple emails.  Today I found this one from a vet, which I’d like to thank him and all our our service members for their duty. 

It’s a well written letter, make you think.  Now here it is…

 

Why I don’t support men’s rights groups: On my first deployment I was pulling guard duty with this SGT in his 40s, I was about 19 at the time. All he did was stare at the wall and dip. Sitting there staring at the wall and dipping tobacco. I could never understand at 19 why he was so shut down emotionally. So I asked him why. He replied with an answer I’d never forget: I figured out the meaning of life he said, "I’m normal and everyone else is fucked up in the head". Those were his exact words.

Now I’m 25 going on 26. After being burned by women and no longer being a nice guy to them I learned how to stand up for myself and not let myself be walked all over, or even worse avoid them all together which saves me the effort and possible embarrassment of an argument in public, but at the same time teaches them that anything they say is OK simply because they are a woman. Sometimes as I fall asleep at night I think about who I really am and I notice that I’m less trusting of women and don’t want to ever get married. Why would I when most of my adult friends got screwed over one way or another. Out of ALL the people I know, I know only ONE yes ONE man has full custody of ONE of his 3 children. And that’s only because the mom was in jail for drugs right before the divorce and judge kinda had to rule his way.

So back to contemplating about my Inner self. It’s incredibly difficult to turn on TV and see in EVERY sitcom of how the man is always portrayed as a dumb useless irresponsible person who only thinks about football and beer. And of course the women on TV are always right, smart and entitled to absolutely everything they want. That kinda stuff is boring to watch so I flip the channel every time I see something like that. But who would I talk to about it? My circle of friends is gone because I recently moved to a different city. I can’t just walk into a bar, come up to a stranger and start talking about real shit like this. I have to carry on a rather boring superficial conversation about food or cars.

So I went online and found your site. Witch kinda reinforced the concepts that are already in my head: women use men and men let that happen because most of them are pussies themselves. That is until they get burned enough and become heartless bachelors, or even worse: submit to society, get married and forever get used as a slave by their wife who would divorce and take everything she can get her hands on if the man doesn’t act right. And if a man has a dispute with a woman the man is guilty until proven innocent. Proving yourself innocent is a very expensive process in court these days. This whole system is messed up and for some reason people are scared to talk about it publically. Only words exchanged are online in anonymous forums. I tried talking about this shit in public places with people I know. Most of them are frankly not intelligent enough to understand my points or they just don’t care about it because they are too stupid to realize just how much they would really get fucked in a divorce court or even in a dispute that winds up in front of a judge. And those who understand are too scared to come out of the closet.

There’s a whole list of things that are wrong with society today. And no, the problem isn’t liberals, republicans, gun collectors or anti-abortion groups. The real problem is that we live in a world where the society worships Kim Kardashian and a lot of women want to act like her. The problem is that men empower wrongdoing done by women by not standing up for themselves. And those men that do stand up for themselves don’t get labeled by the media as the "good guy". To be honest, men do a lot of shit wrong too but that kind of behavior doesn’t last because of courts and social exile that any woman can impose on any guy that tells her something she doesn’t want to hear.

So why don’t we males organize ourselves into political power? Well two reasons in my opinion: first of all there’s too much political correctness these days and the first politician to mention "men’s rights" is going to be committing a "public political suicide". Second and most important reason is that men want to fuck most the women while women want only 10% of the top preforming males. So the top 10% of men get 100% of the hot chicks. Notice no women are ever homeless by the way unless they’re old or fat. I’ve seen plenty 20 year old guys in down town Chicago asking for change, not a single 20 year old chick ever asked me for a nickel. So as a man I have a choice to compete with the rest and be a successful bachelor or settle for less and become a slave to my future wife. Either way I won’t be in an organized movement for "men’s rights". I will either get it my way and make money and travel the world enjoying life in every country or I will get enslaved by marriage and the court system. So either way I won’t be an activist.

On my last night out in Austin, I tried coming up to multiple hot random chicks and talking about serious shit like this. I didn’t get any good results at all. So what does that teach me? Play a game or be played but there is no changing it. Worst of all I’m beginning to think that the hotter a woman is the more entitled she feels. A gross stereotype maybe but prove me wrong. So as I go out pondering the streets looking for a one night stand I’m beginning to realize that I also know the meaning of life: I’m normal and everyone else is fucked up in the head.”

 

See, I told you that shit was good.  So many great points in one email!!!

I’m of the mind that if this gentleman enjoys his life the way HE wants to enjoy it, that sends a far greater message than any political action group could ever do.  So my good man, I am raising my glass to you where ever you might be, I hope that you are making your own way and enjoying your life to the fullest.  Cheers.

 

Posted in Captain No Marriage, Marriage, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Why I Support Gay Marriage and Adoption

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2013


Gay_Marriage_Women

This is your Captain speaking, sorry about that landing in San Fran, but……….Welcome aboard fuckers!!!!!!!

Ok, you probably never expected me to support any kind of marriage but hear me out fuckers.  Some of you probably already know my angle on this so here we go!!!!!!!

Listen, our family court system is FUCKED!!!  We all know that, if you’re a man you might as well lube up your ass and grab your ankles because you will get royally screwed in court by your ex, the lawyers, the whole fucking system!!!

As we’ve talked about here and other people have brought up in other venues, the only time they change a law that’s unfair to men is when it affects the little women too.  Just look at the case in Florida where the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated lifetime alimony.  I mean we can’t have that now can we?  What would the poor little gold-digging whores do?rm

So what we need guys is more bitches thrown on our side of the fence.  What we need is a nice pretty young thing to get with some manly looking broad and the two divorce.  It would be even better if they adopted a kid too, that way the manly bitch could get ass raped just like any man.

Things aren’t going to change until women start to feel the pain too, then it will suddenly become a national priority, there will be pages of editorials of how the system is broken and unfair.

I personally don’t give two shits who you’re fucking, this isn’t about gay, straight or sheep lovers.  The marriage failure rate for gay people will be just as shitty as it is for the rest of us.  So hang on to your butt plugs and rubber fists gay people because this is one ride that won’t make you explode with pleasure.  You have just boarded the Shit Town Express!!!!

I’ve tried to warn the LGBT community that marriage was a shitty deal, but you fucks refuse to listen, so now I want you to get exactly what you’re asking for, because that’s the only way men will get what I’m asking for. The system is broken people, take off your Elton John rose colored glasses and try to see what the fuck I’m saying.  Read the comments on this blog and others like it.  You don’t want this.

However, since the gay community seems to think they know more than the rest of us, fuck em.  I look forward to the day when some crying cunt in on the Today show talking about how her ex-wife took her for everything she owned.  Welcome to our world cunt.

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Brasil ass rocks

Posted in marriage sucks, Politics, women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Women Don’t Do Logic

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 15, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

Here’s just a small sample of the logic, if you can call it logic, that I’ve gotten from American women.


Me:  I don’t want to limit myself to being with just one person.

Her:  You’re afraid of commitment!


Me:  I don’t want kids or I’m getting a vasectomy.

Her:  You’re just selfish and don’t want to live up to your responsibilities.


Me:  I want to save/invest my money.

Her: I want a new (fill in the blank)

Clothes, furniture, pets, car, anything that’s loses all its value as soon as you take it out of the store.


Me:  I want a woman who respects a man.  Like back in my grandparents day.

Her: You just can’t handle a “real” woman.


And let’s not forget that jewel of female logic during an argument when her point is so solid that the only thing she can think of is the phrase “whatever”.  Which is her way of saying “I know you’re right, but I won’t acknowledge it”, her brain cannot process logic.


Damn, why even bother talking to these mental midgets?  As I have learned from my time reading various MRA materials, a lot of these bullshit tactics just amounts to “shaming language”, a feminist tactic, but it’s all they’ve got because logic is definitely not on their side or within their abilities.

You’re now free to let a woman buy YOU drinks and hump-n-dump her.

Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Fuck Mickey Mouse up the Ass!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 12, 2010


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

I don’t know how many channels of fucking Disney I get, but I can tell you that it’s too fucking many!  Just look at your average American jizz trap.  She expects to be treated like a Disney princess, yet she possesses NONE of the qualities of a princess.  Ever see Snow fucking White mouth off at Prince Charming?  Hell no!  He would have dropped kicked the bitch out of the fucking tower!


First off, lets take the appearance of the average woman which I can describe in three words……fat, fat, fat.  As opposed to the princes who is hot, hot hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The princess is usually very humble, unaware of her beauty and kind to others.  The average woman is overbearing, she has an over-inflated sense of her looks and value and is a fucking cunt to everyone.

The princess is devoted to her prince and makes sure that he lives happily ever after.   The average women is an unreliable, multiple personality, bipolar sack of shit!

American women are attention whores in every sense of the fucking word!  They throw fits when they don’t get the attention that they feel like they deserve and their sense of entitlement stinks to high fucking heaven.

They want to be treated like a princess yet they act like a fucking meth head.  Some fucking trade off.  Foreign women only fellas, leave these Ameri-Skanks to the fucking dumpsters!!!

You’re now free to bang hookers from Peru.



Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Tale of Two Evaluations

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 13, 2009


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers.

I’ve had something that’s been bugging the shit out of me for a couple days.  Sometimes on my job I am privy to information that just plain pisses me off!

Take two employees in the same section, one male, one female and they have the same job function.  The male missed 10 days during the year due to an accident that was not his fault.  The female was out for more than three months for a pregnancy.  This particular female was also out for the same amount of time last year for the same reason.

The male employee documented work product is well above the prescribed standards, yet because he was out for more than the “allotted” amount of sick time, his supervisor was forced to give him a review of simply “meets expectations”.  The gentleman understands that there are rules and does not have a problem with his lowered evaluation, as he put it “those are the breaks”.

What he does have a problem with is that the female employee was NOT held accountable for her time away even though her situation was a result of her own actions.  Keep in mind that this gentleman and others in her area had to take on extra work as a result of her being gone for those three months. However because of the Family Leave Act, the supervisor was not allowed to take her lack of attendance into consideration.  If he did, he would open himself and the company up to legal action.  Her documented work product barely meets the standards and she also got an evaluation of “meets expectations”.

God Bless America!  Because we’re fucked and we need some kind of divine intervention to clean up this clusterfuck.

So lets review, a woman can do just enough to get by, take a quarter of the year off and still get just as good of an evaluation as the person who had to pick up her slack when she was out of the office……….nice………really fucking nice.

Typical American entitlement whore, she craps out kids at her discretion (or lack of), and the rest of us have to pitch in!  Yes, to sweeten the pot this bitch also gets government assistance, isn’t that fucking nice.  Maybe if she rode the time clock like she rode a dick, she wouldn’t need government assistance.

But hell, what does she care, she’s not paying for it.  She doesn’t even have to show up for work!  Now she can schedule doctor appointments during the day for her little drape apes to give her yet another reason to skate out on the job.  UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!

Thanks for listening fuckers.

You are now free to punch a baby.

Posted in money, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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