Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘shitting out kids’

Game Over Cunt

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 22, 2015


beer and bitches

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!!

It’s been a fucking while, I’m drinking some Hurricane Malt Liquor so get ready for some fucked up grammar, misspellings, and all kinds of other editing fuck ups!

So a buddy of mine and I are sitting out back on my deck drinking some random IPAs and smoking cigars.  He starts to tell me about this worn out fucking cunt who has the hots for him.

She’s married, weighs in around 250 on a good day, two kids from some guy who couldn’t even keep a job at Home Fuck Depot, and just turned 30.  Her and my buddy went to high school together. She was the ugly chick who had the slamming body but like many women she thought she was hotter than she really was.

So now after 12 years of being with a loser and bulking up, she tells my friend that she’s going to leave the loser and she’s looking forward to “hanging out” with him. 

Luckily she doesn’t work with us, so no HR issues here.  She messaged him on FaceFuckBook.  Basically this chick has the attitude that all her fuck ups should be ignored by my friend.  That he should turn back the hands of time to when they were in school and her vag hadn’t been stretched out by child birth stretch marksand years of abuse.

The problem is this woman’s attitude is actually very common.  Women with multiple kids, often from multiple guys, want the rest of us to give her a do-over.  She wants us to pretend that when we look at her little womb turds that we don’t see the face of a guy who got to fuck her back when she was actually fuckable.  She wants us to pretend that she’s matured and that’s why she’s ready to settle down, not the truth which is she’s being carried off the field like Brett Farve. 

Luckily my friend and I both laugh at her dumb ass, but this chick honestly thinks that when she leaves the loser that she’ll be able to run out and get the man of her dreams. She thinks she’ll be hooking up with that doctor or lawyer she’s always wanted.

Fucking cunts today have this attitude that they can do what they want when they have the power (in their early 20s) and that when their looks fade then suddenly the rules should change and we should overlook all their fuckery.  We should be “real” men and take in them and their bastard fuck children.

Let me be clear ladies……GO FUCK YOURSELVES!

You’re now free to piss in a single mother’s face.

volleyball ass

Posted in women's studies | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Come Get YOUR Son!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 25, 2012


your son

This is your Captain speaking……welcome aboard fuckers!!!

So how many of you have heard that line “Come get “your” son”?  I’d bet most of us either know about this first hand or have seen it play out with a close friend or family member.  Here’s how the shit often plays out.

You’re an average guy and you’re just banging some chick just to pass the time until something better (thinner) comes along.  Then she gets knocked up and being the average (nice) guy you fall for that do-the-right-thing bullshit, this is of course after you try to convince her to have an abortion.  

But as I said before, this isn’t your dream girl, this is just some broad you’re banging until you finish college, get promoted or just decide to upgrade.  So you’re not really thrilled to be there in the first place but you hang in there for a bit, maybe even for a couple years or so. 

Then the moment comes when you just can’t take it anymore, you’re tired of looking at her big fat ass, you’re tired of being told what a piece of shit you are, you just tired of everything about that fucking cunt!  Young insane woman with straitjacket looking at camera close-up portrait

So you leave…..BUT……you still try to do right by the child.  However, this where Super Cunt really shows up.  She tries to use the kid to get you to spend time/money with her.  When she finally realizes her bullshit games aren’t working then she goes into revenge mode.  That’s when she starts telling the kid stuff like daddy doesn’t love you or daddy loves his new girlfriend more than you.  She’ll make up anything and everything to make her look like a martyr and you look like the devil’s asscrack. 

During this time she will let you know every chance she has that the kid is “Her son” and that in her feeble mind she’s the master of the universe.

This works great for her until the kid reaches his teenage years.  That’s when the shit hits the fan.  That’s when the kid’s mind is so fucked up from all the lies and bullshit she’s been pumping into his head starts to come back and bite her in big fat saggy ass.  This is when he becomes “too much to handle” and now she just wants to ship him off to you so that you can deal with the monster that she created.

It’s here that I have to give a shoutout to a buddy of mine going through this right now.  We’ll just use his nickname, Dick Trickle (yes he’s a NASCAR fan).  Our buddy Dick told his ex-piece-of-ass a firm HELL NO!  He said he isn’t a fucking janitor and he’s not about to come in and try to clean up her mess.  He told me that when the kid gets older and moves out he’ll make an attempt to contact.  If the kid chooses to listen then good, if he’s too messed up from his mother’s bullshit then oh fuck well, she got exactly what she wanted.  He said he got so fucking tired of her telling him to “man up” every time he refused one of her insane demands that now it was time for her to “woman up”

Now some people may not agree with how Dick is handling this, (I for fucksake agree with it) but considering that he is not the one created this mess it’s hard to blame him.  Especially when he tried to have regular contact early on.  Maybe if she would have followed the advice of my good friend Scarecrow and “Showed Dick some respect” she wouldn’t be in this predicament.

So let this be a lesson not just to the guys about knocking chicks up but also to the women out there who think that it’s ok to pump your kids’ heads full of bullshit about their father.  Even if the guy is the worst POS in the world, maybe you should look at yourself and figure out why you decided to have a child with someone like that.  Why don’t you explain to your kids why mommy loves to conceive with losers?  Truth hurts sweetheart.

You’re now free to drink alone….with nobody else.

Walker Black Label

Posted in Fathers, relationship, sex, Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Hey bitch, I want an abortion………from you!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 8, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……………….welcome aboard fuckers.

Isn’t it convenient how women like to brag about how they don’t need a man, especially when it comes to the raising of a child (although they sure do need the man’s money). We often hear about a woman’s right to choose.  A woman can get an abortion without consulting the father, even if she is married to the father.  Parental fraud is perfectly in this country and if a woman sabotages the condoms or “forgets” to take her pill or switch her patch, or just plain lies……….it’s all perfectly legal and considered to be a woman’s “right”.  Now I am not anti-abortion, I am very pro-abortion!  Hell, I say find a random pregnant chick and talk her into one!

So since Miss Independent can choose to get pregnant and keep or (not keep the baby) against a man’s wishes, then the man should have the option to an abortion of his own.  He should be able to “abort” all rights and obligations to the child and the bitch that is trying to get her paws into his wallet.

Some would say that this unfairly shifts responsibility to the woman, but yet women have no problem with this responsibility during a divorce and she can use the children to hurt the man both emotionally and financially.  Women fight for custody so that she can hold control of the children over the man.  So I say give her this responsibility right off the start……..at conception.  After all, they choose who gets them pregnant, the reason you hear about so many deadbeat dads is because women keep spreading their legs for deadbeats.

If the woman knew that she couldn’t trap a man or his wallet then I bet there would be less “forgetting” to take the birth control pills. I also would bet that there would be a lot less allergies to latex and suddenly women would magically make use of the 11 forms of birth control that’s available to them.

Take the financial incentive out of these bitches cranking out kids, it’d probably even help the crime rate since most of the gang-bangers and car-jackers are products of single mothers.  Its a win-win situation.

At the very least, there should not be a limitation on the time allowed to take a paternity test, in many states a husband is responsible for whatever flies out of his wife’s hole.  A man could come home to find her riding the pool boy and then she poops out the kid from the pool boy and divorce the husband.  Then to top it off she can divorce the hubby, move in with the pool boy and the now ex-husband would have to pay her child support for 18 years for a kid that isn’t his and the courts don’t give a damn.  Hell, if they were married long enough, he’d also have to pay the bitch alimony too.  How’s that for justice?

Give the men the same choice that the women have, after all ladies…….don’t you want to be equal?

You’re now free to play pocket pool about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, money, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

 
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