Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘sucks’

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 30, 2010


Nothing like drunk emailing some skanks you bang on the side.  Goddamn you Alcohol!!!  You win this round, but I’ll be back tomorrow!!!!!


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The Great Escape

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 31, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……………….welcome aboard fuckers.

Back on May 4th 2009, I entered my first damn post where I said I would chronicle my journey out of marriage.  Since then I have been stashing away cash, $5 here, $20 there into what I call a F U Fund.  This is because my wife and I had already separated once and got back together due to finances.  Since then, we have eliminated all joint debt and even some of our individual debt.  I needed my stash of cash because although I do have friends that would put me up if I was out in the cold, I do not have any family that I could shack up with for a few months while I got my affairs in order.  So I had to plan.


I planned for the worse.  I planned that the day I told my wife I wanted a divorce that I’d have to leave that day.  That day came and went this week, prior I had been looking at apartments.  I knew exactly where I would go.

However the worse did not happen.  Although I would compare my situation to the situation in the Gulf of Mexico and the BP oil spill.  The situation may seem under control now, but it could go to fuck at any minute.

Some things did go as I planned, I was the bad guy of course and she claimed to be the perfect wife.  She claimed I was just using her and that she was the only one contributing to the marriage, blah, blah, blah.

While I play an asshole on the internet, I do have one or two good qualities even though being civil can get you screwed over.  Currently we have agreed that this will not be a hasty, unguided split.  However, please remember the BP situation.  It could blow at any moment.  Right now the time frame for my departure is Nov-Dec.  I am still preparing for the worst.

You are now free to move about the cabin.

Posted in Marriage, money | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Cheaper to Keep Her? Fuck NO! It’s Cheaper to Chuck Her Out the Fucking Door!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 20, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………………welcome aboard fuckers.

There’s a lot of myths flying around when it comes to relationships.  One of them is the old “it’s cheaper to keep her” myth and while there are cases where this is true (thanks to our fucked up court system).  I think that if most guys get the fuck out of Dodge before the 10 year mark, then its “cheaper to chuck her”.

I’ve heard shit like “two can live cheaply as one”, that’s a crock of swine flu ridden pig shit!!  The truth is once the bitch moves in, you’re FUCKED.  I’m not just taking the obvious shit like utilities and food, but all the extra shit that you wouldn’t normally buy.  This could be as simple as her always demanding the brand names where before you always bought the store brand.  Or how about all the special stupid fucking special lotions, feminine rags and other shit that she just has to fucking have.

Let’s not forget stupid household shit, like how she just has to have new furniture, and new bedding and linens to match the furniture. Furniture which you would have NEVER bought on your own even if you need new furniture.  Women just love to redecorate, it makes their slopholes wet to buy shit that is completely fucking worthless as soon as the cashier rings it up.

Let’s not forget about pets!  Pets can be a double-edged sword because getting a pet could be her way of “testing” you to see what kind of parent you would be.  Not to mention you have to train the fucking pets and feed them, more money coming out of your pocket.

I mentioned, kids, if she “forgets” to take the pill or the condom breaks, then she really has her claws deep into  your finances!  Plus she’ll have to cut back her hours, or even quit work when the little crumbcruncher arrives.  She’ll want all the newest shit for the little rugrat and guess who pays?  YOU!

Don’t fall for it!  If you don’t believe me, just listen to some of the old Tom Leykis podcasts of his show and listen to caller after caller talk about he got royally FUCKED by trusting some chick, by being the nice guy, by doing what was “right”.  Fuck what’s right, do what is right for you and DUMP THAT BITCH!!!

You’re now free to get your balls back.

Posted in Marriage, money, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

To all the “woman-haters” out there!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on October 4, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…..

I’ve spoken before about how certain over the hill female “friends” of mine have told me that I hate women.  Why?  Because I said that marriage holds NO benefit for men and that I will NEVER  get married again.

Yes, because I don’t want to risk financial ruin, I am a woman hater.  They never list any logical reasons why my statement is false, they simply attack me as a woman hater.  Funny how they’ll still have sex with such a woman hater and funny how someone who “hates” women is still banging away.

It’s also curious as to how it’s always the over 30, beyond their sell-by-date bitches that are making all these comments.  I’m sure because I don’t like cunts who just let themselves go, I’m sure that makes me a woman hater too.  I guess that I should lower my standards and look past all the younger, hotter, less drama chicks and bang chicks my own age.

Yeah right!  Fuck these Sex In The City, out of shape, droopy assed, saggy vomit-filled sock puppet tit whores!

Just another example of how women are incapable of using logic.  Just another example of how American women are living in a fantasy world where they are the queen of their castle.  More like queen of the fucking double wide!  Most American women are nothing more than glorified trailer trash.  Let’s take out the trash gentlemen!

Hump and Dump!  No living with these bitches!  No babies!  Follow your dreams and goals!  You’ll have more pussy than you know what to do with!  If wanting a great life that I enjoy makes me a woman hater, then so fucking be it.  Fucking cunts!  They complain about guys just wanting pussy, hasn’t it dawned on them that’s because that’s all these cunts have to offer?

Ask a woman about her opinion of small cap vs mid cap stocks.  Ask her about which front the military should focus on in the war on terror.  Sex is all women are good for.  Just treat it like a urinal, use them and get the fuck out!

Rock on fuckers!

You’re now free to move about the fucking cabin!



Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

To the young guys.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on September 19, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……….welcome aboard fuckers.

This is a message for all the younger guys out there.  I know it sucks because attractive women your age are not giving you the time of day right now, but trust me.  Keep working on your career and your dreams and you will be amazed at how great your life will be.  You have NO idea how successful you can or will be when you’re 19, 20 or even 25.  The last thing you want to do is to get bogged down with some bitch and even worse if you knock the bitch up.

I’m not saying that you have to pay for pussy like a hooker, although there is some truth to that, but what I’m saying is that the more successful you become, the more doors will open and the more options you will have in your life.  Not just with women, but with every aspect of your life.

It kills me to see young guys settle for some local piece of ass that they knocked up and end up giving up all their hopes and dreams, just to slave away to support some bitch and “do the right thing”.  Well, that’s the wrong fucking thing gentlemen!

Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by settling down with your highschool sweetheart.  Don’t date single mothers and do not have a serious relationship until AFTER you have realized your dreams.  Even then, a serious relationship offers no benefits to a guy that he cant get by banging multiple women.

Stay true to yourselves guys, don’t fall into the money pit of marriage and kids.  Live your life the way that you want it and not how some bitch is nagging you to live it.

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to move about Wall Street.

Posted in Marriage, money, pua, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Why bother moving out of your parent’s place?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 15, 2009


This is your Captain speaking,

My question is not to suggest that people never move out. It is in reference to the fact that when a man gets married, he ends up right back in the same situation he was in when he was 16.

The place really isn’t his, he damn sure can’t set up the house like he wants, the bitch decorates. He has to ask permission for his friends to come over to watch the fight and God forbid that he wants to go over to that friend’s house that she doesn’t like. Yep, like 16 all over again, feeling trapped and looking forward to moving the fuck out.

Who do women act like a man’s mother? Who the fuck is telling them that this a good idea? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, one mother is enough!! Women, especially American women are just a bunch of mentally unbalanced, controlling bitches and men need to learn that women really are good for one thing, sex. Fuck em’ and chuck em’.

Men need to lose this scarcity mindset and realize than there’s a constant stream of new pieces of ass turning 18 every fucking day!!!

super-hot-thong

Don’t give in to these war pigs that you have to drink 4 quarts of malt liquor just to be able to look at her mismatched, discolored, sagging tits.

warpig-thumb

fat-girl-thong

Let’s step it up and let’s step out and make one final move out into our own place again! And once you have your freedom gentlemen, NEVER give it up again. If a chick wants to move in then it’s time for you to move on.   Kick her ever-expanding ass to the fucking curb!

You’re now free to grab your shit and go!

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Is She a Regular, or just in-between suckers?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 21, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers…….

As a long standing member of Gold’s gym, I have seen countless people start and eventually stop their workout habits.  I have become pretty accurate over the years of predicting how long someone will hang in there.

One interesting occurrence is how you will see certain women join the gym, you can tell that they have been neglecting trying to keep themselves up for a while.  But to their credit, they will work their fat asses off to the point where they are looking pretty bang-able.

Then they suddenly disappear.  They just stop going.  Their workout partner isn’t sure what happen, they’re just a no-show.  So one day, usually several months even a year or so later you see this overweight female who looks kinda familiar………….”but it can’t be the chick I’m thinking of” , you say to yourself.  But sure enough, it’s her.

overweight-woman-treadmill-150

She worked out long enough to reel in the next sucker, then her lazy ass quit working out.  Typical bait and switch, dog-n-pony show that American women are famous for.  You think you are getting a woman who takes pride in her appearance, then WHAM, the lazy cunt reveals her true lazy colors.

Of course, the reason is that she’s “comfortable” and you should like her for more than her body, even though it was the body that got your attention in the first place.

This is just like women who lose weight for their wedding day and then pork back up once the guy is locked into the marriage contract.  Then they wonder why the guy cheats.  Of course he’ll cheat, he feels duped and he was duped!!  He thought he was getting one thing but wound up with something completely different and fatter.

So if you see a chick in the gym or meet a women on the street or where ever, how can you tell is she really works out or is she is just between suckers and is only faking it until someone takes the bait?

One good way is to look at her shoulders and arms.  For women, these areas take a while to get nice tone, plus it requires attention to diet too.  Now I’m not saying she has to have arms like Arnold, but toned.  The fact that it takes a while to attain this toned look means that she is not one of those people who work out when things are “right”.  If she has a toned upper body then she’s been working out through thick and thin and not just when its convenient or when the planets are aligned.

woman_lifting_weights

Don’t be fooled by a nice body with no tone, unless you are in it for the short term, then it doesn’t matter, you can just tap the ass while she looks hot and kick her man-cow looking ass to the curb when she starts packing on the pounds.

You should never depend on one woman for your sexual needs, that’s one of many reasons why marriage is such a bad deal for men.

Strike while the ass is hot fellas, hump em’ and dump em’!

You’re now free to move about the gym….

Posted in Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Who lies more? Men or Women?

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 19, 2009


This is your Captain speaking, welcome aboard fuckers……….

Ok, so some of you might recognize the title of this post as a pickup line or opener used to chat up women.  But I’m actually asking the question.  When it comes to dating and relationships it’s obvious that women are the lie.  It was Albert Einstein who said “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not…”

Women put up the classic dog and pony show when you first meet them.  Then once they have you locked down either by marriage or by squeezing out a baby, that’s when they change.  Well not change, more like go back to their real slobby selves.

How often have you heard women talk about losing weight for their wedding?  And that’s exactly what they do, they lose the weight for that ONE day, then they pork up like the pigs they really are.  Plus, why aren’t they losing weight for the so-called love of their life?  Don’t they love the guy enough to lose the fat for more than one day.  Of course most American women are just way to fucking lazy to do that, it’s much easier for the fat pig to point to her wedding picture and say “see what I USED to look like”.

hotrussianbrides

For the guy the wedding picture is a reminder of how he fell for the classic bait and switch routine.  Hopefully some of these guys will use those pictures as reminders of who really does lie more!  That poor smuck actually thought he was getting the girl in the wedding pictures!!  Instead he got a fatter and more hostile version of the woman that he first met.  That’s why guys cheat, not to get something new, but to get something like they thought they had in the first place!

fat_lady

There is no benefit for a man to get married, unless he’s a complete loser.

You’re now free to drink about the cabin…..

Posted in Marriage, pua, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Are you Married to a SNIPER???

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 15, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……..

What’s up fuckers!  How many of you guys watch fights, either boxing or mma?  Ever notice how the guys throw tons of jabs and cut kicks.  Those punches and kicks never knock anyone out, but the damage from them adds up over the course of the fight.  You can’t really say it was one particular jab or kick that really made the guy hurt.

So anyone here married to a fucking sniper?

natasha-red-alert-3

Women fight in the same manner.  Often when they say “Well what have I done…”, you can’t pinpoint one incident, but you KNOW you’ve had the hell beaten out of you.

Like today, I’m home pretty much the same time every day and I unwind a minute before I go to the gym, the same gym I’ve been going to for YEARS.  Well the gas company was going to replace our regulator outside and needed someone to be here.  Well wifey decides to play the hero (the bitch just wanted to leave work early) because she said that “I’m not reliable”.

That’s what makes marriage so fucking evil.  Little shit like that the builds up, the constant fucking slick ass remarks when you’re out in public, all that shit adds up.  You can’t remember individual stuff, but just like the fight, it takes its toll.

Let’s dump these passive agressive bitches and use women what they were put here for……SEX.  No, not fucking babies, just sex.  Let some other sucker knock the bitch up, we just want the pussy.

You are now free to move about my ballsack.

Posted in Marriage, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Don’t want to get married? Then you must be a woman-hater!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on July 8, 2009


Hello Fuckers, This is your Captain Speaking……..

You know, it’s amazing.  You hear a lot about how we should learn from our mistakes.  Well, marriage has been the single most costly mistake I have ever made and I fucking refuse to do it again.  You would think that people would say that’s a wise choice.  After all, why repeat the biggest blunder of your life?

Well that’s not how some women see it.  Although not all women, once again the split among the women is predictable.  My younger hotter friends agree with my outlook and say that I should enjoy my life, the old bags over 30 who are carrying around 50 extra pounds, whiny shrill voices, they all tell me how sad it is.

Sad?  Sad that I’m smart enough to not repeat a mistake, which by the way, 2nd and 3rd marriages have even HIGHER divorce rates than first marriages!!  The truth is that these older bags are way past their sell by date and I am just entering my prime.  It seems like every day I have younger and hotter girls talking to me.  The old bags probably stomped their little feet when they were younger when they didn’t get their way and men fell for it…………until the looks slipped, the pounds added up, then the guys shifted their attention to younger, hotter and less bitchy women.

These bitter old cunts tell me that just because I don’t want to sign another contract to give away half my assets, that I must “hate women”.  Well they must hate men.   After all, why else would they try so hard to sell something that many of them have already failed at.  Yeah, some of these bitches telling me not to give up on marriage are divorced themselves!  Fucking hippocrites!

Fuck those overweight cunts.  I plan to get divorced and NEVER give up my happiness again.  NEVER have to worry about which personality I’ll come home to.  NEVER feel like I am 16 and still live at home.

Fellas, I say let these fat, bitter old war pigs live at home with their fucking 7 cats.  I will have standards.  NO AVERAGE WOMEN!!!!  And damn sure never limit myself to just one or two women.  It will be time to live and enjoy life, like a man should.

Fuck marriage and fuck used up old battle cunts.

You are now free to bang porn stars about the cabin….

Posted in Marriage, sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

 
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