Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘thong’

Newsflash: Marriage Sucks ……Still!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 19, 2011

       marriage hell

This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!

While talking to a buddy of mine today in my office, we heard the shrill sound of a old hag’s voice as it carried across the office “All men are stupid!”

Actually this particular warpig loves to frequently complain about how stupid her husband is and about how lost he’d be without her.  This of course gets the other dried up hens echoing the same brainless chatter.

Of course if the sexes in this scenario were reversed, all the men would have been fired for such “offensive” comments.  Yet just like on television, it’s supposedly funny to make fun of guys.

The real joke is on these typical loud mouth American bitches, too bad they’re drinking too much of their own kool-aid to figure it the fuck out.  They don’t have a husband, they have a hostage.  A hostage who if he did decide to leave would be stripped of not just his current assets, but his future American bitchassets including his retirement!

Now I’m sure you younger guys out there can’t ever imagine your little cupcake turning into one of these disrespectful, shrill, old hags.  The truth is that she’ll actually turn into a disrespectful, shrill young hag, then as time progresses she’ll become the crabby old bitch that her mother probably is today.

Trust me, if marriage kicked ass you’d be hearing about it from your married friends.  We’re not sitting on some fucking golden ticket here, let me tell ya!!!  Have you ever had one of your buds talk about how ever since marrying his wife she goes to the gym more, loves blow jobs, can’t get enough sex, cooks dinner every night, doesn’t try to change him………you get the point. 

That shit NEVER happens, especially the so called “perfect couple”, if you get the guy off to himself and a few beers in him he’ll open up about how little sex he really gets, about how he’s one minute away from financial ruin because of all her spending, basically he’ll tell you just how perfect they are NOT!

Cherish your freedom gentlemen and do not give it away lightly, it will cost you a shit ton to get it back!!!!

You’re now free to drop a load in the bitch’s eye without prior warning.


Posted in avoid marriage, Marriage, marriage sucks, women | Tagged: , , , , | 8 Comments »

Classic Truth

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 3, 2011

This picture has been around the net for a while, but dammit it’s the FUCKING TRUTH ladies!!!

nice ass like this

Just sayin!!!


Posted in avoid marriage, marriage sucks, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Fuckers!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 17, 2011

irish ass

Hey bitch! Go get me a fuckin green beer!

And suck my dick…….or cock!!!


 green beer bitch

Posted in Single mothers, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Happy Marc Rudov Day!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 14, 2011

What’s up fuckers, I found this over at ScareCrow’s site. An awesome vid about feminism.  Well worth the time to check out and while you’re at it check out Marc’s site.  I’ve been listening to the radio archive section where you can hear some recent interviews about NO-mance Day, or as it should be called……Marc Rudov Day!

As ScareCrow would say…”SHOW DICK SOME RESPECT!”

The Story of Feminism–as told by WOMEN from maxtll on Vimeo.

Posted in money, relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

This Is Not an Abortion Post

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 15, 2011

This is your Captain speaking…………………welcome aboard fuckers!

During my brief stint on Facebook (yes surprise surprise my account was deactivated), I engaged the femicunts on various ground-breaking issues such as why more women don’t look like my favorite porn star to abortion to sucking my cock.  The abortion one really pissed them off.  Forget where you fall on that subject for a moment and take a trip with me.

They were saying that a woman should never be forced to have a baby, they said that they should have a choice, blah, blah, blah.  So I said that was such a fantastic idea that we should extend the same rights to men!  Men should not be forced to be a father just like women shouldn’t be forced to be a mother.  Yes, brilliant!

This sent these bitches completely batshit!  They started using the same arguments that the prolifers use against them!  They said the guy made the choice when he had sex, he should keep his pants on, they questioned my manhood etc…..they went right into the shaming language.


Suddenly these women were talking about how men and women were different!  Well how goddamn convenient, you picked a fine time to not be equal Lucille!

Typical feminist line of bullshit, they only want to be equal.  So I say give the people what they want!  Give these bitches their fucking equality because as Paul Elam points out is this well thought out video, “equality is a cruel master”.

As usual, American women just want to be equal when it suits them.  I guarantee that if women knew that THEY might have to be 100% responsible for a child then suddenly these women would start recognizing deadbeats, they’d remember to take their pill and they wouldn’t get knocked up just to try and keep the guy from leaving.  They want us to take the gamble and hope that she didn’t forget her pill or that the condom doesn’t break.  Fuck that, fuck them and fuck off!

You’re now free to look at pictures of female volleyball players.

women's beach volleyball


Posted in money, Politics, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »


Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 2, 2011

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!


Instead of me rambling on about what I have planned for the New Year, I’d like to take the time to share what my New Year hopes and wishes are for you fuckers, because I’m that kind of guy.

  1. I hope that crazy bitch that drunk dials you but doesn’t put out loses your number.
  2. I hope that throughout the course of 2011 that you do not meet a single crazy ass bipolar bitch. (yes I know that one is a stretch)
  3. I hope someone drops off a case of whiskey at your front door and runs.
  4. I hope the price of a lap dance drops.  lap dance
  5. I hope the legalize prostitution…….ok it’s legal now, they call it marriage, but I mean the fun kind of prostitution where she actually leaves after sex.
  6. I hope Sarah Palin gives up on politics and does porn. (that’s not a political statement, I just want to see her get DP’ed)
  7. I hope that bitch you’re paying alimony to either gets remarried or falls off a cliff.
  8. I hope Maury looks at you and says “You are NOT the father!”   omfg_you_are_not_the_father
  9. I hope some drunk chick you’ve never met gives you a blow job then disappears from your life.
  10. And last but not least, I hope you get a chance to fuck a feminist up the ass and make her like it.

You are now free to have a Happy Fucking New Year!

Posted in women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Our Friend Sally

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on December 3, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………..welcome aboard fuckers!

As much as we love to rant and rave about how guys need to avoid single mothers, I know that’s often easier said than done for some guys.  Especially if you’re an younger guy who’s just starting out, doesn’t have his career going and isn’t making very much money.

It’s not uncommon to work with some single moms nowadays, so I’m sure some of you have gotten to know a few of these women.  While a lot of them remind you of what you read on this and other blogs, there’s always that one isn’t there?  The one that doesn’t seem like a complete bitch, the one who made a mistake when she was 16 and is now trying to get her life together.

Let’s call our single mom “Sally”.  Now Sally seems pretty cool, she takes good care of herself physically, she’s easy to talk to, hell we might even consider Sally a friend.  You tell yourself that she doesn’t fit into what we talk about here, she’s the exception to the rule!

                       hot mom

I work with a Sally.  She isn’t a feminist, in fact the way she talks about men it’s as if she’s from another country!  She’s fun to have around, attractive, she admits HER mistakes, it’s fucking crazy!!!! So some of you guys might say why not pull the trigger?

For the sake of argument, let’s say that Sally doesn’t change and that she is a perfect as she seems…………………you still have other issues to deal with.

  1. The kids’ father or fathers you’ll have to deal with FOR FUCKING EVER!!!!
  2. If you try to live with Sally the kids will probably resent you because you are not dad and they’ll work against you at every turn.
  3. If you and Sally break up but you’ve established a “bond” with her little rugrats then it’s possible you could be liable for child support for bastard children that aren’t even yours!
  4. Sex will revolve around when she can either get a baby sitter or when the kids are asleep (so you can have quiet sex then, what fun)
  5. If you move in or marry her then your vacations won’t be anyplace you actually want to go like Europe or some island resort, oh hell no, your fucking ass will be sweating your tits off at Disney in 90 degree heat in the summer.
  6. Like fine dining?  Not with two kids in tow, better get used to the playland at McDonald’s!
  7. Money, from extra food to electricity to little league, you will be covering the expenses for another guy’s kids, even if he does pay child support.  YOU will be footing the bill.
  8. And let’s not forget what will happen if she has an “accident” and forgets to take her pill for 2 months.  You know she’s not getting an abortion so you get to join her list of losers paying her money every month.  Good job Ace.

Gentlemen, I know Sally is a good person, but she is not a good choice.

You’re now free to piss in the road.

Posted in relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Cyber Monday Special

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 29, 2010

What’s up fuckers!  Here’s some classic Tom Leykis on how women try to get you in the door with a Black Friday or Cyber Monday deal.  Don’t fall for it!!

Sex as a loss leader.

Posted in sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

How did YOU get here??

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 12, 2010

This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.


Ever wonder how people find this shit hole corner of the internet?  Well grab a hooker because you’re in luck.  I’ve saved some of the search terms that have brought people to this blog.  You’re some sick fucks but I love ya.

Piece of shit pinto

Sexy fat American woman blog

Only puff shag women real men shag men


Beer fucking

Cartoon sword woman

you are special fucktard

bottle up cunt

prince of hell

um you’re a skank go away

skank whore

shitting women in America

fuck you’re fucking fuck

how do fat women take shits?

fuck you then

bipolar cunt

shove a bottle up my ass

ball n chain

stand-up urinals

bitch throwing up cum

new young black pussy fuck

handicap fuking ledies and gents

whore urinal

act like a princess

show me how to fuck a beautiful cunt

worthless cum dump skank

beer bottle fuckers

See told ya.  You weird fuckers. Thanks for stopping by.


Posted in relationship, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

I’m Not That Kind of Girl

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 6, 2010

This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

How often have you heard a woman talk about divorce, specifically about women who clean out their soon to be husbands and say “I’d never do that, I’d only want what’s mine”.

innocent look

Of course when the marriage is over women tend to think that EVERYTHING is theirs, don’t they.

The ones that amuse me are the married ones who say that they don’t want their husbands money.  These women claim that if they left, they wouldn’t go after the guy because……….wait for it…………..wait………..they’re not that kind of woman.

What I’ve noticed about 99.9% of these women is that they are married to losers who don’t have any money to take in the first place.  So these suedo-saints are trying to take credit for something that is basically impossible.  Big deal honey, you won’t go after your pot smoking boyfriend who works part time in retail.  That’s mighty nice of you, I’m sure you could really cash in there.

These women talk as if they’re married to Donald Trump and could get some huge payday.  The only reason these women are saying they don’t want their husbands money is because you can’t get something that doesn’t exist.  Classic sour grapes! 

I guaran-fucking-tee that if these women were with guys bringing down six figures that their tune would change.  Suddenly they would claim that they somehow contributed to the guy being where he is.  Funny how that retarded saying about every successful man having a woman behind them doesn’t kick in when the guy spends his day asking people “paper or plastic” or is serving a life sentence in prison.

Fellas, when a woman says that she’s not that kind of girl, that’s your signal to run like the fucking wind.  Talk about a huge fucking red flag!  The women who yell the loudest about not wanting money, are the ones who are all about the money.  Avoid these bitches like the plague they are!

You’re now free to do whatever the fuck you want.

Posted in Marriage, money | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

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