Captain No-Marriage Blog

Marriage is a kick in the nuts.

Posts Tagged ‘titties’

GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on August 30, 2010


Nothing like drunk emailing some skanks you bang on the side.  Goddamn you Alcohol!!!  You win this round, but I’ll be back tomorrow!!!!!


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Even Famous Pussy Has a Biological Clock That Rings Louder than Big Ben!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on June 12, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!!

Have you seen this article?  I’ll wait a minute while you read…..so Jessica Biel, who appears in the latest A Team movie is “desperate” for a baby from Justin Timberlake.  Hmmmm……I wonder why, oh wait I see why, she 28!!!! That’s like 45 in Hollywood years!  My advice to JT, GET THE FUCK OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!


She’s been banging around having a good time and now she wants that guaranteed 18 year annuity known as a baby.  I know what you’re saying, she has her own money, right?  At the moment, yes.  But haven’t you noticed how in Hollywood that the same group of leading men are getting older, but that they make sure that the female actresses that play opposite of them stay the same age.  You don’t see Brad Pitt playing opposite Sharon Stone, hell no, they get the newest, hottest piece of ass they can find.

At 28 Biel is no longer the hottest or youngest.  So she needs to lock in some mega child support that you can only get from a famous actor/musician/athlete.

But gentlemen this happens at all levels, not just Hollywood, it’s happening on your street, maybe it’s happened to you.  You’re dating some broad and things are going well until………………………….she hits you with the “I’m not getting any younger” speech.  Suddenly just having a good relationship is no longer enough for her.  Of course these are the same chicks on Match.com and Plenty of Fish who have headlines like “I’ve had my fun” or “Not into playing games”.

What this means is that she’s banged every Tom, Dick, and Harry Balls in the city and now that she has 150,000 miles on the odometer she wants to settle down and have YOU pay for her.  Sometimes one or four of the bad boys that she used to bang has left her with a little present in the form of a child.  Of course bad boy doesn’t pay any child support so she needs someone to “step up” or whatever other line of bullshit they try to pass off as honorable.  The bottom line is that as  a guy you want NO part of this mess.

As soon as a chick even hints of a baby you need to stop having sex with her immediately!!!!  Don’t make a 18yr gamble that the condom won’t slip or break.  Don’t hope that she won’t accidentally forget to take her pill or that she won’t poke a hole in your condoms.  Just like Justin Timberlake could replace Biel with an equally hot or hotter piece of ass, that’s what you need to do the moment she says she wants a child.  I don’t give a fuck if your Justin Timberlake or Joe 6 Pack, you need to run!  Run hard, run silent, run deep, just fucking run!!!

You’re now free to shove peanuts up some sky cunt’s ass.


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Old Friends

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on May 11, 2010


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!!

Old friends………..ever have that chick that you knew way back before all the bs set in between the sexes.  Back when you were just kids.  You kinda keep that fond memory alive over the years, even chat with her every once in a while.

Gentlemen it’s a fucking trap.   Hard to admit, but true.  A very good old friend of mine fits the bill.  She, at one time, was a great girl.  The hardest thing for me to do is to step back and take a honest look, not at the girl I used to know, but at the woman that is now there.

She was a petite, very cute blond, still is in fact.  But tell me is this story sounds familiar…..she got knocked up by a few bad boys and now she suddenly wants a real relationship.  Now she wants a “good guy”.  Now she wants someone to come in and be Captain Save-A-Hoe.

Fellas, the image of this former friend is one that has been made up over the years, please do not fall for this illusion.  The girl you knew is long gone, dead.  What you see now is just a shell, I know the memories are powerful, but trust me.  Your friend is dead, what is left is your typical American cunt.

I know it’s hard, but you have to take a step back and look at how she acts.  Granted there may even be flashes of what used to be when you were kids, but that’s all it is, just a flash in the pan.  What was once there has long since evaporated!  Don’t try to capture the past, just let it be and move on, in the end you will be happy that you did instead of settling like most people.

You’re now free to bang about the country.

Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Two Fucking People!!!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 20, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………..welcome aboard fuckers!

TWO!  That’s it, as I think about all the married guys that I know, I only know two fucking people who are happy and one of them is married to a non-American woman…..go figure.  Enough said there.

The other one had to go through hell to get to where he’s at now.  His first wife was well………your typical AW.  She ran him through the fucking ringer.  Got pregnant to try to keep him, mood swings, violent, paranoid, you name it.  She put this guy through hell.  But eventually he found the one hand grenade in the box that didn’t blow up when you pulled the pin.  His second wife must not know what year it is because she treats him like its 19 Fucking 50!!!!  Cooks, cleans, takes care of the house, the whole nine yards.  She even likes his crazy ass friends…….even me!!!


Unfortunately the odds of ending up like these two friends of mine are VERY fucking slim.  You are most likely to get the crazy bitch like my one friend got for his first wife.  I’m just glad he got the hell out of there.  I’ve never seen him more miserable when he was with her and more happy than he is now.  He won the fucking lotto.

But just because two guys won the lotto does NOT mean the rest of us should play.  Because like any casino, the odds are stacked in favor of the house.  And in America it’s a house of man-hating mentally ill bitches.   I congratulate my buddies on their winnings, but this game is too rich for my blood.  I fucking fold!!!

You are now free to drink about the casino.


Posted in Marriage, money, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

How I Got Here

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on April 6, 2010


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers.

How did I get here?  Here meaning the whole MRA/MGTOW/PUA thing.  It probably started a few years ago when a buddy of mine and I were talking about an article he read on askmen.com.  The article was about women and it reminded me of the ads I used to see in the back of car, gun, and other men’s magazines about “How to Get The Women You Desire into Bed” by a guy named Ross Jeffries.  So for fun I looked it up in the internet and very quickly found a copy of it and proceeded to give it a look.

It seemed kind of new age (it was NLP based), but in my search for Ross I stumbled upon a guy named David DeAngelo.  This guy really connected the dots for me.  Granted I had discovered in middle school that being an ass got me women and being nice got me shit.  But I had no clue why.  I had no idea why acting like I didn’t care was so effective when it went against everything I was seeing and hearing about females.  All I knew then was that it fucking worked.

At this point I had already been back in college working on my bachelors degree,  so the whole self improvement thing seemed to flow nicely.  And thats what the PUA material seemed like to me.  After David D, I read a book that he recommended by a guy named Neil Strauss called “The Game”.  That opened up the flood gates and gave me a whole host of PUA characters to research.  Some of whom I still read their material today.

The MRA/MGTOW piece was a little different.  I was just frustrated as fuck, angry.  Like most married guys my social circle had been reduced to next to nothing.  Mainly friends from work or school, that I usually only saw at work or school.  I was pissed that I had allowed this part of my life to become so fucked up.

I had heard of wordpress and blogspot because I had found some PUA blogs on the sites.  So I decided that I would vent my frustrations in the form of a blog.  I figured that I had to get this shit off my chest before it fucking killed me.  So unaware of the number of guys who were doing the same thing, I started this blog.  All I knew was that I was fucking pissed and I had to do something even if it was just writing in the dark.

Then one day I was on wordpress and typed in something along the lines of “don’t get married” and one of the search results was some guy called “The Zero Tolerance Man”.  So I clicked on it and I was blown away!

HOLY FUCKING CHRISTY CANYON IN THE ASS!!!!!!, this guy is saying exactly what I’m thinking!!  I”m not alone!!  Then I started to explore the blogroll on his site and the first blog I visited was Marky Mark’s who also echoed most of my opinions.  I’m still working my way through those guys’ blogrolls.  But that’s when the bubble burst and although I am by no means a “ghost”, the writings of all these different guys from all walks of life have been a  treasure trove of information.  It has allowed me to unplug a bit, to take a step back and see things from a better angle.

Thank you gentlemen.  And thank you to the people who are reading this fucking rant of a blog, I never expected that to happen.  Thanks Fuckers!

You are now free to move about WordPress.com.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Why the Mistress Never Wins.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on March 11, 2010


This is your Captain speaking…………welcome aboard fuckers!

Ahhh yes, the mistress.  What is a mistress?  A chick that puts out and hopefully keeps her fucking trap shut.  That’s it.  Nothing more.

So what happens when the guy finally breaks the bonds of marriage?  Well first let’s look at who the mistress competes with while the guy is married.  The bitchy, nagging, bloated wife.  Not much competition!!  Anything looks good next to that!  It’s not like the guy can freely go out and look for other prospects, guys are often lazy when it comes to this.  If they have a chick that puts out and shuts up, that’s enough.

However once the guy is single, now the mistress is competing against every young hot piece of ass on the market.  At this point she has developed a sense of entitlement with the guy, but what she doesn’t realize is that now she has taken the role of the nagging bitch wife.  So the guy dumps her too.

Nothing wrong with a mistress, but ladies you need to know your fucking role.  A mistress is nothing but a handicapped booty call.  Once the bonds of marriage have been lifted, he’s going after the women he really wants to bone, and guess what…………it’s not YOU!

You’re now free to bang young hot chicks.



Posted in Marriage, sex, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Generation Wussy

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on February 2, 2010


This is your Captain speaking…………….welcome aboard fuckers.

What a difference 10 or 15 years can make.  They used to call the 80s kids the “Me Generation”, but the current crop of 20 somethings make anyone who came up in the 80s look like a saint!!  This isn’t just your normal bitching about the crazy young kids, these people are fucked up.

The first thing that amazes the pig shit out of me is how someone can be in their mid-20s and have NEVER lived alone!  I’m not just talking about women, men too.  They trade in one mommy or daddy for another.  They jump into relationships because they need a roommate and are actually afraid of living alone.  I mean fuck, if you can’t stand to live alone with yourself, how the hell can you expect someone else to?

I remember sitting around with my friends talking about all the cool stuff we could do once we had our own place.  It was a stated goal to move out ASAP!!!

But, the idea of getting a studio apartment is like some kind of insult, they want to move into a house like mom and dad, forgetting the fact that mom and dad have been working all these years to get that house!  Not to mention the fact that they also need a new car, some even continuously trade in cars and are terminally upside down for life.

I know couples with no kids and bitch about money…..why?  Well as I mentioned before, the need for a new car, plus not a one-bedroom apartment, oh no that would practical, it has to be a two-bedroom costing several hundred dollars a month more.  Don’t dare, after listening to the constant whining, suggest they downsize.  Sacrifice is NOT in their vocabulary.   Forget the fact that the extra money could be used for…….oh I don’t know, a degree or some kind of skill that could possibly advance your career?  That way you can have a caviar budget to match your entitled caviar tastes.

But no, they have a beat up Ford Pinto budget and caviar tastes and are pissed off about it.

Now on one hand, I’m really happy about all of this.  Think about it, these people are the “competition” for a job.  Unfortunately if we keep cranking out entitled brats the jobs will continue to flow overseas.  Luckily I speak another language.

Until next time fuckers.

You’re now free to pass Boardwalk and collect $200.


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Women Don’t Do Logic

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 15, 2010


This is your Captain speaking………….welcome aboard fuckers!

Here’s just a small sample of the logic, if you can call it logic, that I’ve gotten from American women.


Me:  I don’t want to limit myself to being with just one person.

Her:  You’re afraid of commitment!


Me:  I don’t want kids or I’m getting a vasectomy.

Her:  You’re just selfish and don’t want to live up to your responsibilities.


Me:  I want to save/invest my money.

Her: I want a new (fill in the blank)

Clothes, furniture, pets, car, anything that’s loses all its value as soon as you take it out of the store.


Me:  I want a woman who respects a man.  Like back in my grandparents day.

Her: You just can’t handle a “real” woman.


And let’s not forget that jewel of female logic during an argument when her point is so solid that the only thing she can think of is the phrase “whatever”.  Which is her way of saying “I know you’re right, but I won’t acknowledge it”, her brain cannot process logic.


Damn, why even bother talking to these mental midgets?  As I have learned from my time reading various MRA materials, a lot of these bullshit tactics just amounts to “shaming language”, a feminist tactic, but it’s all they’ve got because logic is definitely not on their side or within their abilities.

You’re now free to let a woman buy YOU drinks and hump-n-dump her.

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Lost that “new car” smell!

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on January 9, 2010


This is your Captain speaking……………welcome aboard fuckers!

Have you ever seen one of these Ameri-Skanks when they are “back on the market” as far as dating?  The ones who married young and are now in their 30s or 40s and find themselves single now that their former husbands have come to their senses.  These delusional cunts act like they’re still 20!!!


Here’s how it usually goes…………………..the chick latches on to a guy young, she then gains weight and chops off her hair, the guy either cheats or leaves, and then these bags find themselves back on the market.

The result is a slew of older, way past their sell-by date bitches with an over-inflated sense of ego.  These cum dumpsters still act like they’re 21.  They still throw fits.  They try to control the guy with sex.  They can’t understand why guys their age don’t want a fucking thing to do with them.  (they rationalize it by saying that the guys cant handle a “real” woman).

These fucking used bait buckets need to realize that they are the bottom of the fucking barrel.  Getting involved with one of these whores is like buying a 88 Ford Escort.  They’ve got high mileage, suffer from frequent breakdowns, weird noises, and usually run and look like fucking microwaved shit.

Fellas chuck these battle cunts to the fucking curb and just hump-n-dump their 18yr old daughters!

You’re now free to move about the bar.


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When “Porn Star” actually met something.

Posted by Capt. No-Marriage on November 23, 2009


This is your Captain speaking……..welcome aboard fuckers!

Back in my day…………………ok don’t panic this isn’t going to be a rose colored glasses trip down memory lane, but it will be a comparison to demonstrate how our standards on the whole as men has gone straight down the shitter.

Back in the 80’s and 90’s if I said “Porn Star”, it actually meant something.

You would have gotten a clear picture of what a porn star looked like.  Regardless of the race if a chick was a porn star, there were certain qualities that you could count on, the main one was of course was a kick ass body.  Nice face, perfect ass, great tits (whether natural or aftermarket bolt-ons), and no muffin tops!

Now don’t get me wrong, I fucking love the internet, it provides a forum for everyone, whether through a blog such as this or through a site like YouTube or even the adult version of “tube” sites.  Now, anyone can porn star.

There has been an explosion of homemade porn stars, many with less than desirable bodies.  Now I understand the appeal of seeing a “regular” chick, one like the attractive, but not necessarily smoking chick that lives a couple doors down.  However the latest wave of BBW and over-sized ass porn is proof of how American men have lowered their standards as to what “hot” is.

Its one thing for a flick with a girl next door type, but not if the girl next door has mounds of cellulite all over her ass and thighs, that’s just being desperate, remember porn is suppose to be about fantasy.  Fat chicks are a dime a dozen, lazy bitches are everywhere!

What’s worse is that I see guys fawn all over out of shape, overweight chicks all the time.  We have collectively lowered the bar and with women being the laziest creatures on the fucking planet, they will only do the bare minimum to get by.

The other sad part is a lot of these overweight porn queens would actually be pretty hot if they could just get the fucking fork out of their mouth and find a treadmill. But then again, we see this in everyday life, a muffin top who has potential, but because she’s already getting attention from a bunch of thirsty, desperate guys, she does nothing to improve or take it to the next level.

Gentlemen……..fuckers………….we need to cut this bullshit out.  We need to raise our standards and our level of game.  Yes we all have our slump-busters that we aren’t proud of; I’m not talking about that.  I’m talking about all this fat bitch worship.  If you have ever put the words “beautiful” and “BBW” in the same sentence, then please do us all a favor and fucking kill yourself.

This one case where I have to agree with the Expats, foreign women get it, they know that the game is never over, it’s a lesson that’s been long forgotten by the jizz-traps over here in the States.

You’re now free to watch Jenna.

Posted in sex, Uncategorized, women | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

 
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